No Matter How Hard We Try
by Avalon Jane
Summary: Spencer and Toby fan fiction. It's basically pretty little liars but mostly about them. Current relationships in this are Spoby, Ezria, Haleb
1. Chapter 1

Where was he? Spencer Hastings pondered this and many other questions. Some were about A, some about family or friends, but mostly about him. Once again he'd disappeared, gone of to some mysterious place she probably would never be able to find. That was the point, right? To keep her from finding him? She knew all guys needed their space, but seriously?

She kept her hope up, though, sitting at her favorite, outside, table of the Brew, wishing he'd just show up already. They'd had a nice conversation over text last night, and they'd decided they'd go out for a little rendezvous. Hardly even such for him, he lived here! So why was he taking so long? Spencer, ever the impatient one, stood up and stormed, well not stormed, more like a walked-in-a-room-being-totally-pissed-but-not-caring-and-yet-still-looking-beautiful kind of thing, after all, she was a Hastings.

She made her way up the stairs, ignoring the demeaning comments that had escaped some men's lips. Not loud enough for their dates to hear though, no, **never**. Once at his door, she proceeded to knock, announcing her presence, but in doing so she found the door was open. Pushing it open slightly, she called out to him.

"Toby?" She said, drawing out the 'y' longer than normal. "You home?" The next thing Spencer knew, she heard Toby screaming for her to get out. She wasn't sure what was going on, but it sounded like he was in danger.

"Spencer, get out of here!" His face came into view. He was being attacked by a hooded figure. A black, gloved, hooded figure. _A_.

Her mind went racing, conjuring up ways to save him, but by the time she'd devised a plan, it was too late. The man she loved, lie on the ground, surrounded in his own blood. Dead.

Spencer sat up screaming. It took her a moment to realize that she was safe, inside her room. She then went frantic thinking about Toby. She turned to see him beside her, sleeping as restlessly as she had been. She couldn't help but relax at the sight of him. She ran a frustrated hand through her hair just before her phone went off. She sat on the edge of the bed, and read the text to herself.

_See, Spence, I'm even in your dreams. Follow my instructions or Toby gets it for real. We start tomorrow morning. Sleep tight, sweetie. _

_A_

Spencer could feel herself falling apart inside. What would A have her do now? Make-out with Ezra? Seriously it seemed as if every time Spencer turned her back, A had already hatched a new master plan to make her life even more like a living hell. Feeling as helpless as she was, Spencer rolled up into a ball on the bed, and started crying.

That's when he woke up.

Toby opened his eyes and saw his beautiful, strong, Spencer crying like there was no tomorrow. He hated seeing her like this, especially since he didn't know what was going on. She refused to tell him what was bothering her so much, which led him to believe that it had something to do with him. Maybe it was after affects of him being gone for so long, or fear of him leaving again.

"Spencer," he cooed, causing the brunette to shoot her head up to see him. Practically against her will, Toby pulled her into him. She was so upset she didn't even realize what was happening. In her mind. It could have been A getting ready to choke her to death. Toby or A, she wouldn't have been able to tell, she couldn't see. Not past her fear and guilt combining into a giant hole in her chest. "You need to talk to me, Spence. I have to know what's causing this."

"I can't lose you, Toby." She said, almost chanting. Her heart was talking, and she couldn't comprehend what she was saying before she'd already formed the words. Of course Toby took this the wrong way. _So it is me_. He thought, gently rocking her back and forth.

Eventually Spencer's bawls turned into sniffles, and she was breathing normally again. She sat back a bit, so she could see his face, taking his hands in hers, she somehow found the courage to tell him everything.

"Toby there's someone, who's out to get me. They want you to die so I can suffer. They want to put me through their worst, and if you think the result of things they've done now is bad, just wait until they kick it up a notch."

she couldn't continue, or explain anymore, it hurt too much to talk about it. But it enough to enrage Toby. He was protective of Spencer, no one was allowed to hurt her and get away with it.

"Spencer tell me who this is, _please_. I'll keep them away from you."

"I can't tell you. If I could don't you think that I would have done it a long time ago?"

"A long time? Spencer, how long has this been going on?"

"So long, that I can hardly remember a time when it wasn't happening." She said through her reforming tears. Toby was about to take her back into his arms, and tell her everything would be alright, but her phone went off. And when he saw Spencer's reaction, he knew he was wrong. Everything was about to go from bad to worse.

Spencer timidly went for her phone. She unlocked it and looked at the screen. Her eyes widened in fear, and Toby knew who it was. "Spencer, give me the phone." He said, extending his hand. Spencer gave him a helpless look, but refused to give him the phone. "Spencer, just, please, let me see it." But she didn't let him have it. He was just about to ask her for it again when she jumped off of the bed and ran into her bathroom, throwing her phone into a wall, badly damaging the screen. Toby began to run after her, trying is best to ensure her safety. But he stopped at her phone to pick it up and read the, now cracked, screen.

_If you thought Toby would get hurt before, just you wait! No more games, sweetie. Now you're going to have to do everything last thing I say or Toby dies. Go into the bathroom, I'm waiting. A_


	2. Hoodies, and Daggers, and A, Oh My!

_Alright, sorry for the delay. I had a difficult time choosing who A was going to be. But I thought about it and I think it'll be fun working with this. Tell me what you think. _

_ -Avalon Jane _

Spencer ran into her bathroom, afraid for her life, but more afraid for Toby. There were so many things running through her mind. How did A get into her house... again? How did A know about her horrible dream? Why couldn't she just explain everything to Toby? All these questions and more crossed Spencer's mind as she bolted away from Toby and towards her worst enemy.

She slammed the door behind her, resting against it to catch her breath. Her bed was only a few feet from her bathroom, but she was hyperventilating like she had just ran a marathon. She looked up into the dark room, getting an eerie feeing from the ice cold tiles on her bare feet. Spencer reached out, touching the wall and felt for the light switch. When she found it, she flipped it on, but she wished she hadn't. Even the cold, creepy darkness was better than the sight before her.

Meanwhile Toby was in a panic, Spencer had locked herself in a room with someone out to hurt her. A could be armed, he thought. He kept attempting to open the door but it wasn't any use. His mind wasn't clear. He was afraid for Spencer's life and couldn't help the horrible thought that raced through his mind. She could die in there. He hit the door with all his might out of frustration. And that when he heard it. Spencer's scream.

Spencer had been rendered speechless due to the horror that she was seeing. A. A. A. A. A was HERE. A was ARMED. A was... No, they couldn't be... A was Ezra. Ezra Fitzgerald. She was shocked. No, that wasn't the word. There wasn't a word to describe what she was and how she felt. Ezra stood before her, knife in hand, looking as if it was just a normal day on the office. Then he looked up. Then he smiled. Then he lunged. Then she screamed. Then the glass went flying. And then, everything went black.


	3. A Made Their Mark On Me

Toby didn't know what to think. He sat there in silence, desperately willing for her to open her eyes and kiss him. Tell him she was okay. The doctors had been telling him that all day, but he would only believe it when those words left her lips.

Around him sat her friends. Aria, eyes red and puffy from crying, kneeled by her side, across from him. Behind him stood Hanna. Her eyes were red too, but also were filled with an unfamiliar curiosity that he'd never seen in her before. On his left, his moral support, his once-upon-a-time crush, Emily. She could sense the fear and hurt in Toby, and rested a hand on his shoulder.

Toby's hand was intertwined with hers. Even though she was unconscious, her touch still made his heart race and his body temperature rise. His eyes never left her face. He'd sworn to himself that he'd be the first to know when she was awake. He hadn't left her room in two days. He'd been at her side since the incident at her house the other night. Toby then, at the remembrance of it, loosened his grasp on her hand, worried it was so fragile that he might hurt her. Toby could never leave her alone for a second, now. She was delicate and people wanted to break her. And he refused to let anyone do that to his Spencer.

As he mentally blamed himself for what had happened to her, he felt her hand hold his a bit tighter. He looked up at her face from where he'd been hanging his head in shame. Her eyes were beginning to flutter open.

Soon he was able to look into her brown orbs like craved to for so long now. When he did, he felt relief consume his body. He figured a part of him thought the doctors were wrong. That she didn't make it and that she was never going to open her beautiful eyes. That he had killed Spencer Hastings, the girl he had given his heart to.

Spencer smiled, happy to know she was safe and surrounded by people who love her. Toby and Emily sat on her left and Hanna and Aria on her right. She looked at each of them, trying to read their expressions. Toby, while keeping his lips in a straight line, had a sparkle in his eyes that he saved for only her. Emily seemed relieved, probably for both her and Toby. She looked over at Hanna, who had a demanding look on her face, like she needed to know what the hell was going on or she'd freak. Then at Aria. Her face was pale in comparison to the red, watery mess of her eyes. She'd obviously been crying. Spencer thought back to the night she'd seen Ezra in the black hoodie. She couldn't decide if she could tell Aria about it. _What are you thinking?_ she said to herself. _She has every right to know!_

Spencer sat up, or at least she tried to. The minute her back had left her bed, Toby, gently, pushed her back down.  
"No, Spence, you have to rest."  
She tried to protest, but everyone in the room agreed with Toby. Why were they treating her like a china doll? She understood that she'd been attacked by A, but she figured they didn't know. Maybe Toby told them she thought.

An awkward silence filled the room. Everyone looked and felt uncomfortable. You could easily tell that they all had something they wanted to say, but none of them had the guts to say it. Well, everyone except Spencer.

"What is going on?" She demanded. "Why are you guys acting like this?"  
She looked over at Toby, still holding her hand. His eyes had diverted from her face to Hanna's then Aria's and then Emily's. Hanna spoke first, but she didn't say what Spencer had wanted her to.  
"My mom's waiting in the lobby. She wants me to tell her when you wake up." She said and left.  
"Yeah and I need to go too." Emily said, stood, and walked out.  
Both Toby and Spencer looked over at Aria, who attempted to say something, but eventually ended up just leaving without saying anything. All the other girls were gone.  
It was just Spencer and Toby.

"Spencer," he began, "after what happened do you honestly expect us to go on like nothing happened?  
"I was attacked by A, it wouldn't be the first time." She said sarcastically.  
"Spencer A didn't just attack you."  
"Did he hurt one of the others?" She said frantic.  
"No that's not what I meant." He said pausing before continuing. "When you ran into the bathroom, you scared the hell out of me Spence. I tried everything I could to get in but you'd locked it." Another pause. "And when I heard you scream," he said his voice growing weak,"I broke the glass on the door and unlocked it myself." He said showing the proof that was currently bandaged on his right hand. "When I got in there, it was too late. A had already hurt you. They cut you Spencer, they cut As into you."  
"What?!" Spencer yelled sitting up quickly, giving herself a major headache. Toby, after laying her back down, showed her the As, that were now stitched up.  
"That wasn't all they did." He said, his voice barely audible now. He wasn't looking at her anymore. "A stabbed you in one of your lungs."

The fear in Spencer had been gradually increasing since he'd been explaining the events of that night. When he'd told her about A stabbing her lung, she was terrified. Ezra really had tried to kill her.

"When the paramedics arrived, you'd lost so much blood." A tear fell down his cheek, only to be wiped away by Spencer's free hand. Toby's free hand reached up to hold her hand and kiss it before returning it to her. "They said that your body was having trouble functioning with just the one lung. When we got to the hospital, you went into surgery. After they were done, I went in to see you. I was just sitting there and," he stopped. He was trying to say whatever came next, but all that came out were sounds.  
"Toby, come on, what happened?" Spencer said worried.  
"You- Spencer, you flatlined."


	4. Struck By 'A' Smooth Criminal

_The fear in Spencer had been gradually increasing since he'd been explaining the events of that night. When he'd told her about A stabbing her lung, she was terrified. Ezra really had tried to kill her. _

_"When the paramedics arrived, you'd lost so much blood." A tear fell down his cheek, only to be wiped away by Spencer's free hand. Toby's free hand reached up to hold her hand and kiss it before returning it to her. "They said that your body was having trouble functioning with just the one lung. When we got to the hospital, you went into surgery. After they were done, I went in to see you. I was just sitting there and," he stopped. He was trying to say whatever came next, but all that came out were sounds. _

_"Toby, come on, what happened?" _

_"You- Spencer, you flatlined."_

Spencer didn't know what to think. She couldn't think. For the first time in a long time, her mind was blank. Beside her sat her dependable safe place to land, searching her face for any clue as to how she was taking this. Toby's fear and sorrow had been replaced with genuine concern for her. Spencer didn't handle situations like this well, Toby knew this, both from her telling him and his experiences with her. He continued to look at her as she began to hyperventilate. He began trying to get her to calm down, but nothing worked. The sounds of the heart monitors were steadily increasing their pace. Toby knew that a nurse would soon be in her to assist her. This time he swore that he would not leave her side. No matter what they did to her, he would be there the whole time. He needed to be in her presence. And he could tell by the way she grabbed fistfuls of his shirt, pulling him close so she could be held, she needed his presence too.

A nurse soon burst into the room, trying just as he had, to get Spencer to breathe normally. Eventually she began to slow her breathing, Toby's pleas finally getting to her. Both of them had no awareness of the nurse, still frantic from Spencer's panic attack. "I died. I died. I died." Spencer repeated over and over again. Each time cut another wound into Toby's heart.

Her panic didn't last long though. She soon fell asleep after her cries had turned into sniffles. For the first time since that night, she felt safe. Because of Toby.

Spencer woke up again in the same brightly lit seemed to have not moved at all since she last saw him. She tried to reach out and take his hand, resting gently on the edge of her bed, but couldn't do it. Toby, still being able to practically read her mind, got the message and slowly took her hand in his. Immediately, a sharp pain went up through Spencer's arm, causing her to wince. It felt like someone had stabbed a knife into her and was dragging it along her body. Toby's eyes darkened, realizing he'd hurt her. He let go of her hand quickly, afraid to bring her further pain. But Spencer didn't want him to let go. So, she 'sucked it up', as she'd been saying recently, and held his hand again, finding the pain was slowly becoming tolerable. She gave a weak smile, which he, gladly, returned.

"I'm sorry." Spencer said. Toby was shocked. He never expected her to say that.

"For what?" Toby said, surprise evident in his voice.

"For scaring you. Both that night and earlier. If I'd just told you about A and the texts and the dreams this wouldn't have happened." Usually she would blame things on herself, but she couldn't think this was her fault. He was taken out of his train of thought as he heard her start to hyperventilate again. He stood, placing a hand on her back and using the other hand, still entwined with hers, to angle her face towards his.

"Spencer, breathe."

"It was- it was" she gasped. Trying to breathe but unable to. "Spence, what are you talking about?" Toby asked, beginning to fear for his loved one's sanity.

"It was Ezra. Ezra tried to kill me!" Spencer exclaimed, just as Aria, Emily, and Hanna walked back into the room.


	5. CrAzy Is Just What I've Seen

**From now on I'm going to be matching the chapters to songs. Just for the heck of it. This chapter goes with Crazy by Katie Herzig. Feel free to give it a listen.**

_"I'm sorry." Spencer said. Toby was shocked. He never expected her to say that. _

_"For what?" Toby said, surprise evident in his voice. _

_"For scaring you. Both that night and earlier. If I'd just told you about A and the texts and the dreams this wouldn't have happened." Usually she would blame things on herself, but she couldn't think this was her fault. He was taken out of his train of thought as he heard her start to hyperventilate again. He stood, placing a hand on her back and using the other hand, still entwined with hers, to angle her face towards his._

_"Spencer, breathe." _

_"It was- it was" she gasped. Trying to breathe but unable to._

_"Spence, what are you talking about?" Toby asked, beginning to fear for his loved one's sanity._

_"Ezra. Ezra tried to kill me!" Spencer got out, just as Aria, Emily, and Hanna walked back into the room. _

Aria froze. They all did. They couldn't move because they were trying to process what Spencer had just said.

"What are you talking about?" Aria asked accusingly.

"Ezra's A. He broke into my house and tried to kill me. He's the reason why I'm here." A still teary Spencer replied.

"No. You're lying." Aria said unbelievingly, but then her face hardened and her eyes lit fire. "Ezra would never do that!"

"Aria why would she make this up?" Emily said from behind her. Aria turned around to face her and Hanna. "You don't honestly believe her, do you?" Aria asked, desperate for one of her friends to be on her side. But it was unanimous.

Emily and Hanna were silent. Aria was beyond angry. She couldn't believe her 'friends' were doing this to her. She turned back around to Spencer again.

"Ezra would never do that. And he's not A!"

"Yes, he is Aria. I saw him with my own two eyes!"

"You were scared maybe you just imagined it! I mean its obvious you're mentally unstable, you start hyperventilating whenever you get freaked out!"

Everyone froze. Even Aria. She couldn't believe she'd just said that, neither could the others. Emily and Hanna were shocked and a little afraid. Spencer was hurt, and that was evident to Toby.

"Aria, I think it's time for you and the girls to leave." Toby said calmly.

"Toby I didn't mean what I-"

"Now!" Toby cut her off. All calmness gone, he had submerged into rage. No one was allowed to hurt Spencer. Not even Aria, who looked surprised at Toby's out burst, Spencer having never described him as the type to yell. However, she could see when she wasn't wanted, and it was clear Toby nor Spencer wanted her there. She turned and walked out, pushing through Hanna and Emily, who momentarily followed her.

_He would never do that to us. Not to me..._ Aria reassured herself walking out of the hospital and to her car. Hanna had tried to flag her down, but she was too determined to get to his apartment and prove Spencer had been wrong. Fear built up inside of her though. She knew Spencer well. And she knew Spencer was never wrong.


	6. He Makes the Young Girls Squeal

_He would never do that to us. Not to me..__. Aria reassured herself walking out of the hospital and to her car. Hanna had tried to flag her down, but she was too determined to get to his apartment and prove Spencer had been wrong. Fear built up inside of her though. She knew Spencer well. And she knew Spencer was never wrong._

Aria Montgomery stood in front of the door she'd seen many times before. She, once again, had been walking around his apartment for about two hours trying to figure out what she was supposed to say. She wasn't able to think straight. Her mind kept wandering back to the possibility that Spencer was right. Finally, she worked up to courage to go knock on his door.

Ezra Fitz was seated on his couch reading Winesburg Ohio by Sherwood Anderson for maybe the hundredth time in the past month. He couldn't get enough of it. It always reminded him if Aria, his former student. He couldn't get over her lately. He'd been doing everything he could to keep their relationship alive. Before her, every girl he'd been with had left him. Of course probably with good reason. They were afraid.

Not of him, though. Just the fact he was a grown man and they were far younger than him. That's right. Ezra Fitzgerald, English teacher at Hollis, had a thing for younger girls. Some even younger than Aria. He didn't blame himself, though. Ian had turned him on to it. When he joined them and the other NAT club members in watching girls change and getting off on it, he couldn't help but fantasize about some of the girls he taught when he acted as a substitute teacher.

Once, he'd tried to break the habit, and went on a few dates with a girl who was appropriately aged for him. Her name was Jackie Molina, and she also wanted to teach English. At the time, they were fresh out of high school, and had the whole summer to get to know each other. But by early fall, he found himself proposing to her. He didn't remember what drove him to do it. He did like her, he liked her a lot. But not that much. He'd lucked out, though. The weekend of their wedding, they'd gotten into an argument and, long story short, she ended up throwing the ring and the television at him. After that she walked out, and he hadn't seen her since. At least, until he got a job at Hollis, where she had been working for about a year. Aria didn't know that. All she knew is that she dumped him and that, if she hadn't, he'd most likely be married right now.

A knock on the door shook him from his thoughts. He opened the door for a worried looking Aria. She stepped in, avoiding his eyes, and sat down in the couch, on the other end of where he'd been seated. He moved to sit back where he'd been, knowing that if she wanted to be that close, she would, fearlessly, make the move herself.  
"I heard Spencer's in the hospital." He said, trying to make conversation after, what seemed to be, an eternity of silence. "Is she okay?" He asked. She didn't do anything but nod. Aria sat, still contemplating what to say.  
"Do you know what ha-"  
"She thinks you tried to kill her." She interrupted him.  
"What?" He asked, completely surprised by her outburst.  
"She thinks you're A and that you tried to kill her. Someone broke into her house the other night and she thinks it was you."

_This is it,_ Ezra said to himself, _I'm so done for..._

**This goes with Bad to the Bone by George Thorogood**


	7. You've Got 'A' Secret, Don't You?

_A knock on the door shook Ezra from his thoughts. He opened the door for a worried looking Aria. She stepped in, avoiding his eyes, and sat down in the couch, on the other end of where he'd been seated. He moved to sit back where he'd been, knowing that if she wanted to be that close, she would, fearlessly, make the move herself._

_"I heard Spencer's in the hospital." He said, trying to make conversation after, what seemed to be, an eternity of silence. "Is she okay?" He asked. She didn't do anything but nod. Aria sat, still contemplating what to say. _

_"Do you know what ha-" _

_"She thinks you tried to kill her." She interrupted him._

_"What?" He asked, completely surprised by her outburst. _

_"She thinks you're A and that you tried to kill her. Someone broke into her house the other night and she thinks it was you." _

_**This is it,** Ezra said to himself, **I'm so done for... **_

Aria stared at him, a little confused by his worried reaction.

"Ezra, she's wrong. Right?" Aria asked in a whisper, afraid for his answer.

"Some of it." Ezra replied, averting his eyes. Aria's mouth fell open in shock and realization.

"You- you tried to kill Spencer?" She asked, falling over her words.

"No I didn't." He said standing up and walking after her since she had began to back away towards the door.

"Then who did?" She asked yelling, nearly tuning out the upward inflection required for a question. At this point she was red from panic and heartbreak and her eyes were watery with unshed tears.

"I broke into her house. I was going to talk to her, not hurt her. I don't know what happened. She ran into the bathroom where I'd been hiding. I was armed, only in case she tried to pull something. I never meant to hurt her."

"Then why did you?" Aria asked. "We'd talked earlier about it. She threatened to tell you."

"Tell me what?"

"Aria, I want you to know that I love you, and I have no feelings for anybody else."

"Ezra." Aria said in a warning voice, expecting the worst to come out of his mouth.

"The summer that Alison went missing," he began, "Spencer and I dated."

"What?" Aria said.

"Spencer and I were a thing."

"No I heard you the first time, Ezra. I just didn't want to believe it."

"Look it's over. She's with Toby and I'm with you, we both have moved on."

"That doesn't change the fact that you've lied to me about this our entire relationship. First Jackie then Maggie, and now my best friend. What, did you secretly date my cousin too because, if you did, I think I deserve to know."

"Aria, I have no feelings for Spencer anymore."

"I will say again, it doesn't change the fact that you lied. In fact, I'm actually more fond of Spencer than I am of you right now. At least she had the respect for me to want to tell me about this!" She said frustrated.

Ezra could see the fire in her eyes, she truly was furious. He didn't say anything, and a cold silence filled the room.

"I can't do this anymore." Aria said.

"Wait a minute, Aria. You've lied to me a hundred times and I still stayed with you, and I keep a few secrets and you want to break it off?" He said hurt and worry evident in his voice.

"A few secrets that I had every right to know." She said. He no longer put up a fight, just sat back and took her words.

"Every secret that I kept from you, I kept to protect you. I did it because I couldn't bear to see you get hurt." She said, tears threatening to fall form her eyes. "I'm sorry." She said before walking out of the door.


	8. Just a CriminAl

_"Every secret that I kept from you, I kept to protect you. I did it because I couldn't bear to see you get hurt." She said, tears threatening to fall form her eyes. _

_"I'm sorry." She said before walking out of the door. _

It had been a month since Spencer was released from the hospital. A month since Aria and Ezra broke up. A month since 'that night.' Toby had gone out of town to Yardley for a job, so Spencer spent most of her nights alone. Things had slowed down since the night she was attacked by A, though, and she found herself steadily becoming more and more independent every day. Just like the old her. That didn't change the fact that she missed him. She missed him everything she had. However, she knew that in order for him to be free of his evil step sister, he had to be able to pay for his apartment. And if that meant missing him every once in a while, that was fine by Spencer.

Spencer sat down at her desk to begin her homework. However, she didn't need to. She was far more ahead than usual. Spencer was beginning to realize in Toby's absences she had to busy herself with work to distract her. This time she had nearly completed three months worth of homework within three weeks. She had accomplished so much because this was the first time he'd left since the incident.

As she completed her AP Physics work that wasn't due for another four weeks, her phone buzzed. She felt a pang of fear run through her, but picked it up anyways. She was relieved, but rather annoyed, when she saw who was texting her.

You have to help me get Aria back -Ezra

Why? -Spencer

Because I love her -Ezra

Then you shouldn't have lied to her- Spencer

I did that so things between us wouldn't change. I didn't want her to feel inferior to you because of what we used to have. -Ezra

Aria and I have settled this. I'm not burying myself again by trying to help you out. Sorry -Spencer

Does Toby know?- Ezra

No- Spencer

Help me or I will make sure he does- Ezra

Are you threatening me?- Spencer

Yes. I'm sorry but you leave me no choice- Ezra

I'm not afraid of you, Ezra. Tell Toby if you want, he won't care- Spencer

Are you willing to risk it? Look what happened between me and Aria- Ezra

Aria and I- Spencer

Your biggest concern right now is correcting me?- Ezra

You made a grammatical error, Mr. English Teacher.- Spencer

Look, meet me at the Brew so we can discuss this. If you don't show up by five, I will go upstairs and tell Toby personally about our relationship.- Ezra

Nice try, Fitz, but he's out of town.- Spencer

Actually he's coming back any minute now, I'm guessing- Ezra

How did you know that?- Spencer

You said it yourself, Spence, I'm A.- Ezra

Spencer nearly dropped her phone out of shock. About three hours after she left, Aria returned to the hospital in more tears than when Spencer had first seen her. She stumbled through the entire discussion to Spencer. The two apologized, made up, and moved on. It was settled that Ezra wasn't A, just that he made a bad choice.

This revelation was surprising for Spencer. But now she had proof.

She looked at the clock, finding she had three hours before having to meet Ezra at the Brew. She typed into the message box.

**S.O.S- Spencer**

Her three most trusted friends replied immediately with 'on my ways' and 'be right theres'. Spencer stepped outside to wait for her friends, placing her phone on the kitchen table on her way out.

They had all arrived within the next half hour. As Spencer made her way inside, she noticed a black hooded figure running away from the house.

A

Spencer bolted after them, trying to keep up but found that she couldn't due to her attire. She walked back to her house, and found her friends sitting at the breakfast bar inside. Spencer immediately noticed her phone was missing and began to panic. A stole her evidence.

Her mind raced for another way to prove Ezra's betrayal, but her mind was blank. Spencer Hastings found herself at a loss for words as she looked up at her curious friends faces. She was screwed.


	9. Save Me

_A stole her evidence. _

_Her mind raced for another way to prove Ezra's betrayal, but her mind was blank. Spencer Hastings found herself at a loss for words as she looked up at her curious friends faces. She was screwed. _

The discussion with her friends had not gone so well. Spencer had tried to convince them Ezra was on the A team, but none of them believed her. She was now on her way to meet Ezra at the Brew.

Spencer and Ezra had met when she was taking a dual enrollment course at Hollis the summer Ali went missing. She always had a thing for older guys. The first guy she'd dated who was an appropriate age for her was Alex, and that didn't end very well. Then Toby came along. After years and years of thinking he was a perv who spied on their posse changing and molested his stepsister, Emily noticed who he really was. Spencer was glad Emily befriended him, otherwise she might have never seen him as a good guy. And now she loved him. And he loved her back.

Except, Ezra was trying come between that. In fact, the more she thought about it the more Spencer realized that a lot of people were trying to come between them. Their families, Wren, Ezra, Jenna, basically all the rest of Rosewood. They always beat the odds in the end though. Hopefully it'll end that way this time.

Spencer waited inside the cozy coffee house. She was sitting by a window so she could keep an eye out for Ezra. After she had downed her third cup of black coffee she was begging to become impatient. She waited and waited and nearly left five times, but stayed knowing that her relationship with Toby might depend on it.

Eventually Ezra walked in the door. He took the seat across from her and handed her her phone.

"Don't even think about trying to show that little conversation to your friends. It's been deleted." He said with a straight face.

"What do you want?" She said placing her phone back in her pocket but keeping her eyes on him.

"I want you to talk to Aria for me. Get her to take me back."

"You can't force someone to love you after they've moved on."

"I'm talking about Aria, not you, Spencer." His words stung. She thought she loved him, but all he wanted was a good time. Which he didn't get.

"Don't try to pin what happened on me." She said leaning across the table.

"What exactly did happen, Spencer? Because all I remember is waking up one day and you were completely ignoring me." He said, meeting her in the middle of the table. The closeness made her nervous. The last they had been this close things were a lot different.

Aria didn't know this, but when Ezra had walked into their English class for the first time the first thing he noticed was Spencer.

"Holy crap." He'd said. Internally he was freaking out. Then he saw Aria, and Spencer noticed his eyes had left her. She turned to see that he was looking at her best friend and she knew immediately that there was something between them.

He'd said something. He'd said something and she completely missed it. His breath was intoxicating. It differed greatly from Toby's. Ezra smelled like mint and coffee, her favorite thing in the world. Toby was much more appealing though, but that didn't change the fact that Ezra was driving her insane.

_What are you doing? She chastised herself. You're dating Toby, don't even think about it. _

He was talking again but she couldn't hear him. All she could hear was faint mumbling. She couldn't think, only act. And actions without thought are stupid, reckless, and ran purely off of want.

Spencer snaked her hand around to the back of his head and pulled him to her. He tensed at first, but then relaxed into the kiss.

Spencer was in heaven. The wrongness of the kiss made her heart race, and the rough feeling of the stubble on his face made it even more glorious. He pulled away slowly. He stood, lacing his hand with hers, and lead her past the tables and chairs and people into a supply closet. No one seemed to notice. Before she could protest, he was kissing her again and pushing her up against a shelf.

She knew this was going too far, but she couldn't stop him. He might tell Toby about this. She knew he probably wouldn't care about their past relationship, but her kissing another man while dating him, he would be furious. He was the first time.

The first time? This was her second time cheating on Toby. She was disgusted with herself. That was when she found the courage to shove him off of her and run out of the closet. She ran up the stairs, closely followed by Ezra. When she reached the top, Ezra pushed her up against the wall. Right outside a very familiar apartment door.

He was kissing her and she couldn't stop him. She felt helpless and disgusting. She didn't deserve Toby. All of a sudden, the weight was lifting from off of her, and she sank to her knees and cried. Her vision was fogged with tears. In the distance she could hear grunts of pain. Eventually it stopped and someone's arms were around her. She immediately knew it was Ezra. Spencer tried to fight him off, and screamed at him, but he refused. He rocked her back and forth and gave her words of encouragement and love. That was when she realized it wasn't Ezra. It was Toby.


	10. FAke It

_He was kissing her and she couldn't stop him. She felt helpless and disgusting. She didn't deserve Toby. All of a sudden, the weight was lifting from off of her, and she sank to her knees and cried. Her vision was fogged with tears. In the distance she could hear grunts of pain. Eventually it stopped and someone's arms were around her. She immediately knew it was Ezra. Spencer tried to fight him off, and screamed at him, but he refused. He rocked her back and forth and gave her words of encouragement and love. That was when she realized it wasn't Ezra. It was Toby._

_No._ Spencer thought. _No please don't be here, Toby._

He'd just stopped Ezra, her former English teacher as far as he knew, from possibly raping her. She did initiate the kiss, but that was only because she missed Toby. His touch was nothing like Toby's, though. Whenever they made contact, whether they held hands or just brushed each other's shoulders walking, sparks shot up her entire body.

He was no longer by her side. He now stood before her arguing with Ezra. A few people stepped outside their doors to see what was happening.  
"How dare you touch her." Toby spat.  
"She made the first move on me. She wasn't exactly resistant."  
"Don't lie to me, look at her! She's devastated because of what you did."  
"Why don't you turn around and ask her what happened? If she's as truthful as you think she is, see what she says."

Toby couldn't help the small amount of doubt that was forming inside him.  
"Spence, can you just settle this?" He said, facing his recollected girlfriend.

_Oh god, no... _She thought_. I can't lie to him._

"I-" she stammered. "I was coming up to s-see you. Ezra came out of nowhere." She said as her voice broke. "You know the rest." She whispered, not being able to talk any louder.

Toby was even more enraged than before.  
"If you even think about touching her again, I will make you wish you were never born." He said just before taking his phone out from his back pocket.

"Call the police." He said, tossing it to Spencer. She fumbled while pressing the numbers, and had to end and retry nearly ten times. She was shaking out of fear that she would be caught and Toby would hate her. But the smart side of her knew she was in the clear as far as Toby was concerned.

The cops arrived soon to take Ezra away. Spencer couldn't believe she was going to go through with this, but it was too late. She couldn't say she lied, she would be in way more trouble than she already was.

As soon as policemen had Ezra restrained, Toby went to stand by Spencer, acting as a barrier between her and the scene in front of them.

"Spencer! Tell them the truth!" He yelled as he was being pulled away.

"I did." She lied quietly into Toby's shoulder. His arms came up and wrapped around her waist.

"I will never let him near you again. I'm so sorry this happened to you, sweetheart." Toby said as he rubbed circled on her back with his thumbs.

"So am I." Spencer replied, knowing it was an innocent enough of an answer that he wouldn't become suspicious.

Spencer stayed the night at Toby's apartment. He didn't want her to be alone, and he insisted in her staying. Everything felt wrong. The way his shirt felt was wrong. His arms around her, protecting her through the night felt wrong. Spencer found it was impossible to sleep due to the guilt from lying to her true love. So, she stayed up the whole night, watching the beautiful, honest, loving man sleep peacefully, thinking that she was the victim in all of this.

And that nearly killed Spencer Hastings then and there.


	11. Just A Kiss

_Spencer stayed the night at Toby's apartment. He didn't want her to be alone, and he insisted in her staying. Everything felt wrong. The way his shirt felt was wrong. His arms around her, protecting her through the night felt wrong. Spencer found it was impossible to sleep due to the guilt from lying to her true love. So, she stayed up the whole night, watching the beautiful, honest, loving man sleep peacefully, thinking that she was the victim in all of this._

_And that nearly killed Spencer Hastings then and there._

Spencer woke up to the sight of her boyfriend sleeping soundly. In order to not disturb him, she slipped carefully out of his embrace, and tip-toed into the kitchen for her morning coffee.

She stepped outside to retrieve the paper. Upon her return to Toby's apartment, she poured her coffee and took a seat on the couch. As she sat, sipping on her bitter black beverage, she read the headlines on the front page.

_**College Professor Ezra Fitzgerald Accused of Attempted Rape**_

And that's when the details of last night came flooding back to her. With the memory, came the guilt, and with the guilt came the tears. She couldn't stop the few tears that slipped past her eyes and splattered on the paper.

Spencer was startled as Toby stepped out of the bedroom.  
"Morning, Spence." He said, sleep still present in his voice. However, when he caught sight of his distraught girlfriend, he was brought to full awareness.

"Hey," Toby spoke softly as he made his way to her and concealed her in his arms."Everything's okay. He can't touch you; never again, Spencer. Okay?"

Spencer was at a loss for words. His presence only made the pain grow, and brought more tears.

"I'm sorry, Toby. I'm so so sorry." Spencer cried.  
"This wasn't your fault, Spence. It was his." He said, rubbing her shoulder.  
"No it was. I-I, he, a-and A. He's A! H-he said so. But he took m-my phone, and he-" She was ceased by Toby's gentle hushes.

"Toby he didn't start that. I did." Spencer continued after collecting herself.  
"What?" He said in a faint, non-believing, whisper.  
"I started this whole thing. I kissed him."


	12. On My Own

_"Toby he didn't start that. I did." Spencer continued after collecting herself. _

_"What?" He said in a faint, non-believing, whisper. _

_"I started this whole thing. __**I**__ kissed __**him**__." _

She was still trying to understand what she'd said. What she'd done. She probably had just ruined everything for them by telling him the truth, but she couldn't bare lying to him.

"Please don't hate me. I wasn't thinking straight and I missed you. He was just, there."

"Just- don't, Spencer. I can't do this right now." Toby said before standing up and walking out the door, leaving Spencer behind him.

She'd been sitting exactly where she had been when he left, approximately three hours ago. It felt like a thousand years to her.

Toby hadn't gone far, just downstairs to think. He was slowly sipping on a coffee trying to figure out what he was supposed to do.

"Hey." A familiar voice said. Emily.

"Hey." He said, genuinely smiling for the first time since he'd last seen Spencer. "What's going on? You look a little down."

"A little." He said sardonically. "Spencer cheated on me. Again."

Emily was speechless. She definitely had words she wanted to say to Spencer for hurtled such a nice guy as Toby, but she contained herself.

"I just- I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I should break up with her, but I love her." He said, whispering his confession of his love for Spencer in a hurt whisper.

"I know you do. And I know she feels the same way. Spencer's a troubled girl. She's gone through so much and she needs you. She makes mistakes, big ones at that, but they are mistakes. She doesn't do them to hurt you, she does it because _she's_ hurt."

Toby hadn't thought of it like that before. Emily was right. Sure Spencer had hurt him, but she was sorry. She proved that by telling him the truth in the end instead of lying to him forever.

"She needs you. And you need her." Emily finished.

"You're right. Thanks, Em. You're the best." He stood and pulled her into a quick friendly hug. Toby then ran up the stairs and to his apartment.

Emily watched him go. There was still a faint amount of warmth left behind from Toby's embrace. She relished in it as it faded. Toby was gone, and she sighed. He was in love. He was in love with a beautiful, smart, amazing girl. She could never be what Spencer was. And that ripped her heart out. She would never be good enough for Toby. No matter how hard she tried.


	13. Apologize

_"She needs you. And you need her." Emily finished. _

_"You're right. Thanks, Em. You're the best." He stood and pulled her into a quick friendly hug. Toby then ran up the stairs and to his apartment. _

_Emily watched him go. There was still a faint amount of warmth left behind from Toby's embrace. She relished in it as it faded. Toby was gone, and she sighed. He was in love. He was in love with a beautiful, smart, amazing girl. She could never be what Spencer was. And that ripped her heart out. She would never be good enough for Toby. No matter how hard she tried. _

Spencer remained exactly where she'd been since he had left her. She didn't blame him for the choice he made, though. She obviously couldn't handle being in this relationship. Spencer was about to get up and leave, but she heard someone at the door.

Toby walked in, a slight smile on his face. The two locked eyes; sparkling blue into chocolate brown.

"Hey." He greeted softly.

"Hi." Spencer replied.

There was a silence. Neither of them knew where to start. Toby walked slowly over to Spencer, still unsure of what he was going to say. He sat down on the couch next to where she was curled up. One look at her and his heart snapped in two. She'd been crying; her eyes were read and puffy and her cheeks were wet from her tears. Now he felt like the guilty one.

"I saw Emily downstairs." He began. She was silent, and he took that as a sign to tell the rest of the story.

"I told her about what happened." A pause. "I was so hurt and angry, Spencer. But she made me realize that if I left you, you'd have no one. And that I'd have to spend the rest of my life without the girl I love more than anything in the whole world.

Spencer's heart began to flutter with hope. Maybe there was still a chance for them after all.

"Toby, I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. I wasn't thinking. And I'm so so sorry." Spencer rambled. Toby pulled her into a hug. He combed his fingers through her hair in an attempt to soothe her. This felt right. Finally, it felt right again.

Spencer sighed into his shoulder, breathing in his wondrous scent. He smelt like sawdust and pine needles; she loved it. She loved him.

"Remember back when I had just come back from that job in Buck's County?" He asked gently. Spencer nodded in response. "What I said then is still true. You don't have to apologize. I might get angry and upset with you, but I will always forgive you in the end. I love you, Spencer."

"I love you too."


	14. WhAt A Wicked GAme to PlAy

_"Remember back when I had just come back from that job in Buck's County?" He asked gently. Spencer nodded in response. "What I said then is still true. You don't have to apologize. I might get angry and upset with you, but I will always forgive you in the end. I love you, Spencer."_

_"I love you too."_

Emily sat uncomfortably as Spencer walked into the room and kissed Toby on his cheek. Had she known Spencer had been invited too, she wouldn't have come. Although, even if she hadn't been, she would still have come anyways. It was her right since Toby and her were in a serious relationship. That didn't mean Emily didn't hate every second of it.

She still loved Spencer like a sister. She just loved Toby more, and in a completely separate way. She watched with hidden envy as Spencer took a seat next to him and he wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

"Hey Em." She greeted.  
"Hey." She responded with believable, but still false, kindness.  
"Emily and I were just going to catch a movie. You wanna tag along?" He asked her.

Emily had forgotten their movie plans. They were going to go see some new horror film. She hadn't really picked up on any of the details since she was too busy daydreaming about the amazing things that could happen. She would pretend to be petrified and he would hold her. Toby wouldn't see it as anything more than friendly. He was just protective like that. Emily, on the other hand, would find it romantic in every sense of the word.

But now she was going. He wouldn't even notice Emily. She could scream her lungs out and he would still opt for Spencer. That would hurt her beyond repair.

"Actually, I think I'm gonna head home. I'm kind of tired. You guys go." Emily lied.

She almost laughed as both their faces expressed concern. She was truly cruel. There were these two amazing people inner life, who cared about her so much, and she wanted to come between them.

"You sure? We can catch a later showing if you want to come." Toby offered. _Such a gentleman._ Emily swooned to herself.

"No, I'm fine. You go have fun."

Spencer and Toby were hesitant, but eventually decided to leave it alone.

"Alright, if your sure." Spencer said.

Emily stood and left, wishing that she and Spencer could switch places. There was nothing she wanted more than to be with Toby, but as long as he had Spencer, he would never want Emily. She had her chance during homecoming, and she missed it. Now she just had to endure it.


	15. Just Thinking About You

_Emily stood and left, wishing that she and Spencer could switch places. There was nothing she wanted more than to be with Toby, but as long as he had Spencer, he would never want Emily. She had her chance during homecoming, and she missed it. Now she just had to endure it._

It had been a few hours since Emily left. Spencer was now straddling Toby on the couch and they were kissing. Toby seemed really into it; Spencer, not so much. It wasn't anything to do with him though.

"Toby," she gasped, "Toby stop." He obeyed.  
"I'm sorry, did I do something wrong?" He asked sweetly.  
"No, it's just," she began, "I just keep thinking about Emily."

If Toby hadn't known better, he'd be offended. However he knew that out of all of their group, Spencer and Emily were the closest. She was worried about her.

"Yeah." He nodded.  
"What are we going to do?" She asked.  
"We shouldn't do anything. When has meddling in someone's love life ever done anybody good." He responded sarcastically— for the most part.  
"That's it!" She yelled, ignoring his last statement.  
"What is?" He asked, truly dumbfounded.  
"We should set her up with someone. And just to make sure everything goes right we'll go too. It'll be a double date!" She said excitedly.

Toby knew this wasn't a good idea.

"Spence, as much as I know you want to help her, this is not the way to do it. Neither of us even know how to set up a gay date."  
"I know what girls like, you know what guys like, and we both know what _Emily_ likes. We just need to combine those things."  
"You really think this a good idea?" Toby asked cautiously after a moment of silence.  
"I'm positive." Spencer replied confidently.


	16. I Can See It In Your Eyes

_"You really think this a good idea?" Toby asked cautiously after a moment of silence.  
"I'm positive." Spencer replied confidently._

Emily was nervous, to say the least. Toby had called her and said he and Spencer had set her up with someone; reason number one. Reason two was that she was going to have to sit through an entire movie and dinner with Toby and Spencer _and_ pretend to be interested in some girl she hasn't even met yet. And the third reason was that she was hoping she'd really like this girl. Emily couldn't help her feelings for Toby, but maybe this girl would be just good enough for Emily to have stronger feelings for her.

Emily walked into the theatre lobby. Spencer and Toby were sitting on a bench waiting for her arrival. She waved hello and went to join them.

"So, where's the mystery girl?" Emily asked, anxious to have a distraction from Spencer and Toby.  
"I don't know, she said she'd be here by now." Spencer said checking the small watch on her arm.  
"She probably got caught up in traffic." Toby reasoned.  
"What's her name?" Emily asked.  
"If we tell you, what's the point in meeting eachother for the first time?" Spencer said jokingly. Emily shot her a playful glare and Spencer gave in.  
"Alright, alright. Her name is Kristen." Spencer admitted.  
"She's cute and I think you'll like her a lot." Toby butted in.  
"So you think she's cute?" Spencer asked accusingly.  
"Not like that, Spence. She's gay, and, even if she wasn't, no even one comes close to you." He said. Spencer 'awed' and thanked him with a kiss on the cheek. _Great_, Emily thought, _I'm gonna have to deal with this all night._

Just then Spencer saw Kristen walk in.  
"Oh Emily..." She teased, directing her eyes towards the blue-eyed brunette. Emily had not been expecting this. Not at all. She was gorgeous. Not just gorgeous, _**gorgeous**_. She couldn't really believe it. _Maybe tonight will be easier than I thought._

Toby, Spencer, and Emily stood to greet the final member of their party.  
"Spencer, Toby," Kristen acknowledged, "and Emily." She extended a hand for her to shake. "I'm Kristen."  
"I'm Emily." She replied after awkwardly shaking her hand. Kristen giggled at her bewilderment. _Even her laugh is beautiful._ "But you already knew that." She said embarrassed, after realizing her dumb statement.  
"It's alright. Now I'm guaranteed not to forget." Kristen joked.

"Well, well, Mr. Negative. Looks like they hit it off." Spencer whispered to Toby.  
"You were right. Emily looks really happy." Toby replied as the two smiled at their mutual friend.  
"Shall we go sit down?" Kristen gestured to the door of their theatre.  
The group all found their seats. Kristen sat on the isle; followed by Emily then Toby and then by Spencer. Each couple had their own popcorn and such, basically they were two separate dates that just happened to be sitting together. About halfway through the movie, Spencer and Toby's hands were laced together and she was cuddling into him in attempt to keep warm— or so she claimed. Meanwhile Emily and Kristen were sneaking glances at each other, both trying to figure their date out. Emily couldn't believe it was possible for someone to be so attractive. _She has everything. She's witty and funny, she's beautiful. She has those sparkling blue eyes, just like Toby's—. Wait. Just like Toby's?_

Emily realized why she had been immediately attracted to Kristen. It wasn't becuase she liked her remotely, but because she saw her real true love when she looked at her.

When she looked at Kristen she saw Toby.


	17. Just for This Moment

_Emily realized why she had been immediately attracted to Kristen. It wasn't becuase she like her remotely, but because she saw her real true love when she looked at her._

_When she looked at Kristen she saw Toby._

After the movie, the double date went to a new pizza place that was close to the theater. The girls were sitting at the table talking while Toby was waiting for their order.  
"Then she poured the milk all over me!" Kristen continued. She was telling Spencer about her ex-arch enemy from elementary school.  
"And what did you do?" Spencer managed through her laughter.  
"I walked over to the table, picked up the cake, and I shoved it in her face!" Kristen finished her story and caused both Spencer and herself to continue to laugh. Emily just sat there smirking, hoping they wouldn't notice her silence. Somewhere during their laughter, she excused herself from the table.

"Hey Em." Toby greeted his friend. "What's up?"  
"Looks like Spencer's having more fun on my date than I am." Emily said glancing back at the two still cracking up.  
"Why? I thought you really liked Kristen."  
"I did— I mean I do but— I don't know. I'm just really confused."  
"I think she's great. And I think you guys are great together."  
There was a pause as Emily wondered about how to do this.  
"Toby we need to talk."  
"You can tell me anything Em. What's going on?" He assured.  
"Lately, I've been a little unsure." Emily began.  
"What about?" Toby pressed.  
"Everything. My family, my friends, myself." She listed. "Have you ever made a huge choice that felt right at the time, but then you wish you'd made another choice?"  
"Sadly, yes. That whole thing with Jenna, it never really felt right, but giving in to her seemed easier than resisting. I regret not standing up for myself."

Emily's heart ached at his pain. It was horrible that someone so wonderfull and sweet and kind had gone through so much.

"Exactly. I think," she paused, "I think I'm regretting becoming gay."  
"Oh. Jeez, are you sure? That's a big choice to make."  
"I know. But I've thought it through and there's a specific guy I'm interested in." She said, trying to tell Toby her feelings for him without blurting it out. However, considering the look he gave her, he hadn't gotten it.  
"Look Toby, I think I might have feelings for," she paused, scared of how he might respond, "you. I have feelings for you."

Toby was speechless. His best friend had just told him she wanted to be more than just friends.

"Em, you're great but, I'm in love with Spencer. She's your best friend. You don't really want to do this to her, do you?"  
Emily wasn't quite sure how to answer.

"Do you?" He pressured, desperately wanting the answer to be no. However, that was not the case.

Instead of answering him, Emily pulled herself into him and kissed him for only a moment. A moment too long in Toby's opinion. He didn't want them to be like this, not only becuase he loved her best friend, but because he didn't want a relationship to ruin how they were. To his horror, a certain brown eye beauty had walked up behind Emily.

"What do you think you're doing?" Spencer asked threateningly.


	18. Faster Than You Could Say Sabotage

_Instead of answering him, Emily pulled herself into him and kissed him for only a moment. A moment too long in Toby's opinion. He didn't want them to be like this, not only becuase he loved her best friend, but because he didn't want a relationship to ruin how they were. To his horror, a certain brown eye beauty had walked up behind Emily._

_"What are you doing?" Spencer asked threateningly._

Emily jumped at the sound of her voice.  
"Spence, it's not what it looks like." She tried.  
"Oh, really? Because what it looks like to me is that my best friend just kissed my boyfriend."  
"Okay, it's exactly what it looks like. But I wasn't trying to—"  
"I don't need an explanation from _you_." She spat. "Toby?"

He was silent. Toby wasn't sure what he was supposed to say. The kiss was wrong. Emily knew his feelings for Spencer, so why would so do this; especially _here_, with Spencer right in front of them.

"I–I," he stuttered. Spencer took this the wrong way, though. She turned and ran out the door, tears in her eyes.  
"Spencer! Spencer wait!" Toby yelled. He began to follow her, but Emily stopped him.  
"Toby, we need to talk." Emily tried to convince him to stay.  
"Not now, Emily!" He pulled his arm out of her grip, a bit too roughly. Emily was hurt. Toby didnt seem to notice as he chased after Spencer.

Emily let a few tears slip past. He chose her. She completely opened up to him and he still chose Spencer. Emily didnt exactly expect otherwise, but she was hoping. Kristen stood there awkwardly, offended by the fact that her date was not gay. Emily practically ignored her as she walked out of the door and began the tedious walk home.

About a block away from the theater, her phone buzzed.

_Poor Emily. You want Toby, I'll help you get him. -A_

She froze. Emily knew A was not to be trusted, but she loved Toby so much. And this was the kind of thing A was so talented at.

_What do I have to do?_

A few seconds later her phone buzzed again.

_Meet me tomorrow at 6, behind the old farmers market. See you there, Em.- A_


	19. Breathe, Just Breathe

When Toby finally caught up to her, she was full on crying.

"Spencer." His voice broke. He hated to see her like this.  
"Go away." Spencer sobbed. He didn't. Toby took his time inching towards her. It was a horrible sight. This beautiful girl was huddled against a wall in some random alley.  
"Not a chance." He said as he sat next to her.  
"Why aren't you with Emily." She sneered.  
"Becuase I don't love her." Spencer finally met his eyes.  
"What?"  
"Spencer, I don't know what happened. She was talking about how she didn't want to be gay anymore, then she said she had feelings for me. I tried to make her realize that would break your heart, bug she didn't listen. She kissed me, Spence, not the other way around." She responded with silence.

"I would _never_," Toby continued as he angled her face towards his, "_ever_, even _think_, of leaving you. Not for anybody." He kissed her gently, but he wasn't surprised when she didn't kiss him back. He pulled away, and rested his forehead against hers.

When Spencer opened her eyes and looked into his, she saw hurt and confusion. Her best guess was that hers mirrored his.

"Toby," she whispered, "I love you." His face lit up as he smiled.  
"But I think we need a break." She finished.  
"What?" He gasped shocked. "No, I don't want to lose you."  
"It's not permanent. I just– I need to breathe for a bit."  
"I will do anything, just please reconsider this." He pleaded.  
"That's why I love you. I will never stop loving you, but I think some time apart will be good for the both of us." With that she kissed him on the forehead and stood. She helped him up and hugged him.  
"See you later, Toby." She sighed.

He stood frozen and watched her walk through the gate and out of the alley. Through his sadness, he felt something else. The alley felt familiar. That's when Toby realized this was the alley he'd escaped into that one day when people were being incredibly rude and critical. Spencer had followed him. Toby never told her he'd seen her watching him. That was the day he truly began to wonder about Spencer Hastings and who she really was.

Whether she meant to or not, Spencer chose this alley. _His_ alley. The place he'd broken down in front of her for the first time. He knew she was watching, but he didn't care. The look in her eyes was compassionate and pitiful. It was Toby's first glimpse into the real Spencer. And she was amazing, and sweet, and strong. Then she became his. But reality sunk in once again. He'd lost her. She said it wasn't permanent, but who could know how long it would be until she was ready to let him in again.

Toby walked home, hands in his pockets, much like the insecure boy who'd walked this street almost a year ago. He'd lost his best friend, he'd lost Spencer, what did he have now?


	20. Et Tu, Brute?

_Toby walked home, hands in his pockets, much like the insecure boy who'd walked this street almost a year ago. He'd lost his best friend, he'd lost Spencer, what did he have now?_

"Are you positive that's the way it happened?" Aria questioned, bewildered.  
"Of course she is, Toby's as loyal as a golden retriever, he wouldn't do that." Hanna interjected.  
"She's right. It just doesn't seem possible the other way around." Spencer said.

She didn't want to be a snitch, but she didn't want her friends to be on Emily's side as opposed to hers. Spencer needed them now that she and Toby were on hiatus. If she told them her side before Emily got to, they'd pick her.

God she was so selfish.

But she deserved that right? The girl who works night and day to make everybody else happy, shouldn't she at least get to be a _little_ selfish every now and then.

"So what about you. Are you okay?" Aria asked.  
"It helps knowing that Toby doesn't have any feelings for her. But I'm starting to think I made the wrong choice in asking Toby for a break." She confessed.

"Well then go tell him that!" Hanna bursted, causing Spencer to jump slightly.  
"I don't know Han," Spencer tried, but Hanna Marin wouldn't have it.  
"No! You said you regret asking Toby for some space, and we all know that he's going to welcome you back with open arms."  
"I know but-" Spencer started, but was interrupted.  
"No buts! Get yourself over to his house right this minute, young lady!" Spencer was taken back by Hanna's authoritative tone.  
"I'm seven months older than you." Spencer retorted. Hanna rolled her eyes.  
"Shut up and go!" Hanna ordered all but pushing Spencer out the door and locking her out of her own house.

Spencer really had no choice. She knew her friends were probably spying on her through her bedroom window, so if she tried to go somewhere else, she'd be caught and forced to Toby's anyway. And it's not like she didn't want to go. So she figured it was decided.

As she rounded the final corner on the way to Toby's house. The last time she'd gone to his apartment he hadn't been there, so, she used the key he gave her. But, upon entering his living quarters, found that it was vacant, and seemed to have been for a long time. So she suspected he had been spending time back here, which seemed absurd considering his past with this place.

When Spencer knocked on the door, she remembered the day she'd come to tutor him for the first time. She smiled at the memory.  
Then she heard the door open. Looking up, Spencer was disappointed to see Jenna was the one who'd answered.

"Spencer," she greeted with an eerie smile.  
"Hi Jenna." Spencer responded with a very believable fake kindness. "Is Toby here?"  
"Yes, he is. But he doesn't want to see you." Jenna sneered  
"I'd prefer to hear that from him." Spencer stated walking past her and into the vaguely familiar household.

All of a sudden, as she rounded the corner into the living room, That Night, which felt so far away and forgotten, came flooding back to Spencer. Toby looked as if he was trying to tell her to get out, but he was unable due to the several coats of duct tape covering his mouth. He was tied up to a chair, and she could see the ropes were digging into his skin, causing him to bleed. However, he was bleeding from several wounds on his arms, legs, and one massive gash on his face. She could see he was slowly fading.

The horror of seeing Toby like this was nearly topped by the horror of who else was in the room with them. Jenna stood behind her, clearly in on it, but not appropriately dressed for the occasion. Across from them, on the other side of the room, was Ezra. He always seemed to be a different person whenever he wore the black hoodie. Then there was one more person, one more A team member, standing next to Toby. This clearly was the one who'd administered the wounds as they had a knife in their hands. What was it with these people and knives?

She walked closer to the two, and she saw Toby try ever harder to convince her to leave. Spencer wasn't going anywhere. Spencer put a hand on their shoulder and turned them around. She had never thought about this happening, so she hadn't been expecting it. Toby she could see was heartbroken, but Spencer wasn't quite sure who for. Then there was the pair of unsure eyes looking back at her. Eyes she'd come to know as friendly and welcoming. Eyes she never expected to be framed by a menacing black hoodie. Eyes that belonged to Emily Fields


	21. No Remedy for Memory

_She walked closer to the two, and she saw Toby try ever harder to convince her to leave. Spencer wasn't going anywhere. Spencer put a hand on their shoulder and turned them around. She had never thought about this happening, so she hadn't been expecting it. Toby she could see was heartbroken, but Spencer wasn't quite sure who for. Then there was the pair of unsure eyes looking back at her. Eyes she'd come to know as friendly and welcoming. Eyes she never expected to be framed by a menacing black hoodie. Eyes that belonged to Emily Fields._

His back was pressed into an uncomfortable mattress, it was freezing cold, and he was surrounded in an annoying amount of white. He was in a hospital.

One thing he'd hoped he'd find somewhere in the room was Spencer, but there was no sign of the brunette anywhere. His face fell in disappointment. Did she even know he was in here? After all, her family did not approve of them, and neither did his. They probably would have done everything in their power to withhold this kind of information from her.

What had happened to him? Everything was just kind of a big blurry blob. Toby couldn't remember anything that might have out him in a hospital worthy state. Was Spencer okay? What about Emily? The other girls? He didn't like not knowing the condition of the people he cared about, or their friends. What if they were in the hospital too?

Toby was pulled out of his interrogative thoughts when he heard the door open. Finally. She was here, coffee in hand, seemingly unaware he'd woken up.

"Hey." He greeted, surprised at how his voice broke. Toby couldn't help but smile when her head shot up and her gaze met his. Spencer quickly put down her styrofoam coffee cup and walked over to him.

"Hi." She gasped. "Oh my gosh, I thought you'd never wake up." A tear fell from her chocolate eyes even though there was a smile on her face. He instinctively wiped it away with the pad of his thumb, even though there was pain that followed.

Spencer knew she wasn't supposed to notice his grimace, but she did. She returned his arm to where it had been and kiss his forehead, just how she had the night they broke up. Upon returning to her seat she decided it was time to talk to Toby about their relationship status.

"Toby, about what I said the other night, I-"  
"Wait, what did you say?" Toby asked, looking genuinely puzzled.  
"In the alley two nights ago?" She suggested. "After the date with Kristen and Emily?"  
"Isn't that tonight?" He questioned after thinking for a moment about what day it was.

Spencer was bewildered. She never could've thought this would be a possibility. This was the kind of thing that happened in movies, not real life. However, a lot of things happened in Rosewood that seemed to belong in a Johnny Depp movie, so she had to be sure.

"I'll be right back." Spencer said awkwardly before walking out and attempting to find Toby's doctor. She'd been so relieved when she found out it wasn't Wren. She still had to be on the look out though. With all the drama between Emily and Ezra, the last thing they needed was Wren trying to get into the mix.

When she found him, the doctor went into a long description of what was happening to Toby. In a basic summary, to block out the trauma of what happened to him, he had forced himself to forget the day he'd gone back to his house and was greeted by the a team. He said it had malfunctioned though, and he'd forgotten more than he'd meant to.

Spencer couldn't believe what she'd heard. She went back to Toby's room as she'd promised she would.

"There you are." Toby said as he grinned.  
"Here I am." She said flatly, still unsure of the situation.  
"Everything okay?" He asked, concerned.  
"Yeah." She lied. However, he wasn't buying it. He raised his eyebrows at her, telling her he didn't believe her for one second.  
"Spence, I know you better than anyone. I know there's something up."

She contemplated telling him what he'd forgotten. Didn't he deserve to know? But what about them? If she told him as opposed to him living it out, would he react differently? Would everything be the same? Did she really want to know?

Spencer found herself racking her brain for an answer as she looked into the blue eyes of the man of her dreams. The man who had no recollection about the disasters that occurred over the past two days.


	22. Just Like Me?

_Spencer found herself racking her brain for an answer as she looked into the blue eyes of the man of her dreams. The man who had no recollection about the disasters that occurred over the past two days._

"It's just-" she began. "I saw Wren downstairs. He wouldn't leave me alone."

It seemed a reasonable enough answer. It probably would have been true if she'd really run into Wren. Still, Spencer couldn't help the pang of guilt when she looked back at him and realized he believed her.

"The second I get out of here I swear I'm gonna–"

"Hey, it's not a problem. He's not a problem, okay. I can handle it without you having to get all big-scary-overprotective-boyfriend on him."

"I thought you liked when I did that." He replied with mock-offense.

"I do, I just don't want to have to explain to the cops why Wren is lying dead."

Toby let out a breathy laugh.

"So when can I get out of here?" He asked after a brief silence.

"I think tomorrow. They just want to keep you overnight to make sure everything's okay." Toby nodded in response.

"So what actually happened to me? Do you know?" He asked her.

"Uh— I'm not sure." She lied.

"That's okay, I'll ask the doctor when he gets back." He replied.

"Alright. Listen I've got to go, I've got a French essay due next week and I haven't even started."

"Okay, Spence. Be careful driving home, please." Toby begged her.

"Always." She responded, bending down to kiss him goodbye.

On he way out she stopped and turned around to face him.

"I love you, Toby." She said, beginning to regret the choice she had made in not telling him. However, she was about to make matter even worse.

Unable to hear him return the words of affection, she walked out of the door before he could even open his mouth. After dashing through the automatic doors of the hospital she jumped into her car. Toby's warning seemingly had gone unnoticed as Spencer drove nearly past the speed limit. She had to get there. Now.

Finally Spencer reached her destination. She stepped out of the car and onto the pavement and looked up at the house she used to find welcoming. Now, she found it cold and menacing. Just a harbor for an enemy ship.

She walked up to the front door of the Fields' residence and rang the doorbell. Soon enough Pam, Emily's mother, opened the door and invited her in.

"Emily's just upstairs!" She called out on her way back to the kitchen.

Spencer crept up the stairs quietly, feeling it necessary to sneak around unnoticed even though this was one of the many places she called home. Well, used to anyway.

"Emily?" She called, knocking on her bedroom door. "It's Spencer."

Soon enough the door was opened, and Emily Fields was revealed.

"We need to talk." Spencer said, inviting herself into the room.

"What about?" Emily replied quietly.

"Toby." Spencer spat his name out. She knew it would bother Emily and her grimace of emotional pain was very satisfying. "You know he's in the hospital right?"

"Of course I do." She snapped back at her.

"Right, how foolish of me. I forgot for a second that you were the one who put him there!" She began to yell, but not loud enough that her parents would hear.

"What the hell were you thinking?! That maybe you could torture Toby into loving you? Or that if you couldn't have him no one could?! What happened to the sweet, kind Emily I used to know?"

"She fell in love!" Emily yelled back.

"You've tried to come out to him, and it didn't work. But your a very lucky girl, Em."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about how the universe is giving you a second chance."

There was a moment of silence as Emily attempted to understand what the brainiac was trying to imply, but had no luck.

"Toby has amnesia. He can't remember anything before the date. So these are your options. We can all forget that any of this ever happened. Toby will never have rejected you, you never would have joined the A team, and you never have kissed your best friend's boyfriend. So long as you drop out of the A team, tonight, regardless of any threat they throw at you . And never try to steal Toby from me again."

"Or?"

"Or," Spencer started mocking Emily's tone, "I'll go tell Toby everything. How his best friend loves him, how she tried to steal him from me. And you can watch silently on the sidelines as I help Toby get through the loss of a true friend."

"What about the others?" Emily asked, beginning to feel intimidated by Spencer's threatening tone.

"We can tell them that you both had a little too much to drink, that it was all a big misunderstanding, and we're all buddies again."

"So you're okay with lying to the people close to you."

"I'm lying to keep them close to me, Emily! Which I wouldn't have had to do if not for you, so I wouldn't be talking."

There was a silence filling the air as the two rival-turned-friends stared each other down. Eventually Spencer put on a victorious smirk and began to walk out the door.

"You know Spencer," Emily started, causing Spencer to freeze, "I'm surprised it wasn't you who A wanted in their team. You two have so much in common."

Spencer was stung, but let out an amused yet patronizing chuckle.

"And that's why I run this group. A played with body parts, I play with actual bodies. Sleep tight, bitch. A." She finished, trying her best to sound like their tormentor.

She couldn't really believe she'd said that, but figured she was just caught up in the moment. She wasn't really like A. Was she?


End file.
